Goldilocksing

Day 100 - Mũi Né

Cruising in the sunshine, towards my finish line. Nothing could stop me now except exceptionally poor judgement or very bad luck. Back to that poor judgement... As previously stated my bike (who shall remain nameless) was not in the first flight of youth when I bought it. The Bonnie Blue of the road, she'd had a lot of riders. It had near enough required one of those electric heart re-starters you find in phone boxes these days to get it going at first. The speedo had never worked which, as I never knew what the speed limit was anyway, didn't seem a problem. But it made it slightly tricky to argue with the man who had just told me

you were breaking the speed limit

He might have been right. There's every chance he was right. But since I'd likely been breaking the speed limit all-day, everyday for the last eight days it seemed a bit late to be telling me now. Given that the man was a policeman however, it was more than just a casual observation.

It was more than just a casual stop too. He roared up from behind on a scooter and overtook me while his colleague on the back had dramatically waved a stick indicating I should pull over. There was no roadside shakedown this time though.

Follow us back to the police station.

They side-eyed me warily as I tuned the bike around in case I fancied my chances and they might be featured in an episode of Corupt Police, Cameras, Action. I didn't. Arriving at the station I was directed into a concrete building where, behind an oversized desk, the lieutenant sat. He produced some printed pictures of a road that purported to show me speeding but really could have been anyone. There was an amusing irony in getting caught by the police on my first day and second-last day and not at all in-between. But as day 1 was my first rodeo this certainly wasn't. I was only carrying a small amount of cash in my wallet so let the game of chess begin officer. When he announced the inevitable and and inflated 'fine' I said I could only offer him what I had on me.
check.
Except....one of the pieces on the board was an ATM which

is just over the road

check.
I reply

I don't think my card works in ATMs

er...check?
He begins filling out the form to impound my bike.
checkmate.
Given that the bike was already at the police station they essentially already had it so I had to take his threat seriously. I went to the ATM (so handy!) and withdrew the full amount he wanted but slipped half of it in my shoe as there was probably still some deal to be made. The lieutenant accepted my offer after I insisted it was all I could get. Accepted it with extreme irritation and lack of grace mind you. These police officers don't seem to enjoy their jobs or their side hustles.

Having secured my release I checked in at my eccentric accommodation and went in search of beer and food. Mũi Né is, in a word, ghastly. I walked the three minutes down to the seafront and found no seafront. I walked for a mile and found no seafront. Every scrap of it had been sold off to resorts and restaurants that had done everything in their power to block the view of the sea unless you gave them money. Tour buses shuddered up and down the road and disgorged tourists into these places. I had never seen nature so remorselessly sold off. It was, to be clear, a holiday destination for the Chinese market. They constituted the vast majority of the tourists around me. It catered to their needs and wants but, not for the first time, I found myself wishing they needed a little less and wanted a little more. It's hard not to sound a bit racist in all this which is unfortunate because it obscures a valid point. It's hard to generalise a country of over a billion and I am also aware my country produces tourists of dubious quality. This place and the others like it that I have seen aren't a product of the Chinese people's essence, just of their past and their present. It would be an interesting topic to unpick if I had an anthropological leaning and a willingness to be called a bigot. Maybe this will all change with time. Maybe I'm just resenting the loss of my white privilege.

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