Pub review
They say:
"This has been my local pub for over 7 years now and I've unfortunately visited a few times because I keep thinking it must have got better. Sadly it never does. It is an abysmal dive of a pub with the most miserable, surly staff I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. My advice would be to go literally anywhere else." --Florence
1/5
I say:
A Wetherspoon. In Bridgwater. The only surprise about this is that it is the only one out of the 35 pubs on my list. With the economies of scale the company can bring to bear I would imagine they'd corner a market like Bridgwater. They have a beer on the handpulls for 99p, not far from off I'm sure but you get half cut on that stuff for the price of one beer in London. Hell you could get 3 pints of it for the same price as a carling even in this place. But, as I look around, it seems to not be deal that anyone wants to take. Carling to the left of me, Stella to the right, here I am sipping my stale Ruddles with you. It's about the only thing I don't dislike about Wetherspoons, their commitment to real ale. Ales are an exception rather than a rule in this town whose pubs have some of the most dismal selections of beer I've ever seen. The Carnival has its fair share of yellow alcoholic pisswater on the kegs as well but goes someway to offsetting that. The pricing here holds curiousities to me. The lagers are uniformly more expensive than the ales with the exception of Bud Light at £2.10 but that stuff is pollution and has less alcohol than an overripe banana so presumably the tax is low. At £3.10 is Stella but it's reassuringly expensive so no surprise there (even though my assurance levels seem to remain the same). It's only 4.6% though which seems lower than I remember, men must stop using it as an excuse to hit their wives. For 9 pence more you can get a unreassuringly expensive Guiness. It costs a staggering 14p per millilitre of alcohol, 3 times as much as Ruddles and twice as much as the aptly named 'Jailbreak' ale. Carling, Fosters and Coors come in at 13p per millilitre though so by that measure Guinness seems cheap. At 11p per millilitre Bud Light still seems overpriced. At 0p per millilitre it would be overpriced. I don't like Bud Light.
As I look around for points of note it feels like the dark wood furniture and balustrades repeat to a vanishing point in this vast pub, like a kind of boozy purgatory. A very infirm man old man attempts to cause trouble in the corner and a 50th birthday rises to a shrill pitch. The carpet is dull by Wetherspoon standards. The building itself though is a beautiful half-timbered affair with twin bay windows. It won a platinum rating in the 2021 loo of the year awards. It takes its name from Bridgwater's famed (in these parts anyway) yearly Carnival. A grand procession of illuminated floats (though I understand they must be called carts) built by the local carnival societies moves slowly through the town in front of thousands of onlookers. It claims to be Britain's oldest carnival. Speaking of history, part of the building was also used by Judge Jeffries 'the hanging judge' of the bloody assizes who sent so many to the gallows in 1685 after the Duke of Monmouth's rebellion and final defeat in Bridgwater. Only one of many calamitous days that have ended in a Wetherspoons though I suppose. The police have arrived and I too am defeated by sleep deprivation and old beer. There's nothing here you haven't already seen, move along.
2/5
They say:
"This has been my local pub for over 7 years now and I've unfortunately visited a few times because I keep thinking it must have got better. Sadly it never does. It is an abysmal dive of a pub with the most miserable, surly staff I've ever had the misfortune of meeting. My advice would be to go literally anywhere else." --Florence
1/5
I say:
A Wetherspoon. In Bridgwater. The only surprise about this is that it is the only one out of the 35 pubs on my list. With the economies of scale the company can bring to bear I would imagine they'd corner a market like Bridgwater. They have a beer on the handpulls for 99p, not far from off I'm sure but you get half cut on that stuff for the price of one beer in London. Hell you could get 3 pints of it for the same price as a carling even in this place. But, as I look around, it seems to not be deal that anyone wants to take. Carling to the left of me, Stella to the right, here I am sipping my stale Ruddles with you. It's about the only thing I don't dislike about Wetherspoons, their commitment to real ale. Ales are an exception rather than a rule in this town whose pubs have some of the most dismal selections of beer I've ever seen. The Carnival has its fair share of yellow alcoholic pisswater on the kegs as well but goes someway to offsetting that. The pricing here holds curiousities to me. The lagers are uniformly more expensive than the ales with the exception of Bud Light at £2.10 but that stuff is pollution and has less alcohol than an overripe banana so presumably the tax is low. At £3.10 is Stella but it's reassuringly expensive so no surprise there (even though my assurance levels seem to remain the same). It's only 4.6% though which seems lower than I remember, men must stop using it as an excuse to hit their wives. For 9 pence more you can get a unreassuringly expensive Guiness. It costs a staggering 14p per millilitre of alcohol, 3 times as much as Ruddles and twice as much as the aptly named 'Jailbreak' ale. Carling, Fosters and Coors come in at 13p per millilitre though so by that measure Guinness seems cheap. At 11p per millilitre Bud Light still seems overpriced. At 0p per millilitre it would be overpriced. I don't like Bud Light.
As I look around for points of note it feels like the dark wood furniture and balustrades repeat to a vanishing point in this vast pub, like a kind of boozy purgatory. A very infirm man old man attempts to cause trouble in the corner and a 50th birthday rises to a shrill pitch. The carpet is dull by Wetherspoon standards. The building itself though is a beautiful half-timbered affair with twin bay windows. It won a platinum rating in the 2021 loo of the year awards. It takes its name from Bridgwater's famed (in these parts anyway) yearly Carnival. A grand procession of illuminated floats (though I understand they must be called carts) built by the local carnival societies moves slowly through the town in front of thousands of onlookers. It claims to be Britain's oldest carnival. Speaking of history, part of the building was also used by Judge Jeffries 'the hanging judge' of the bloody assizes who sent so many to the gallows in 1685 after the Duke of Monmouth's rebellion and final defeat in Bridgwater. Only one of many calamitous days that have ended in a Wetherspoons though I suppose. The police have arrived and I too am defeated by sleep deprivation and old beer. There's nothing here you haven't already seen, move along.
2/5
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