Cuphut

Day 101 - Copacabana

It may have fallen short of outright murder but manslaughter might have been on the charge sheet if we hadn't released the old man from his duties. An impromptu, rudimentary and seemingly insurmountable roadblock had seen us halted in a little tumbleweed town on the Peruvian-Bolivian border. Around 50 people stood in the road a quarter of a mile ahead of the ever-growing convoy of lorries and minibuses. I strolled under the dry sun to their fleshy barricade. Debate continued calmly and unhurriedly as the reassuring sight of a police car appeared in the distance. The crowd calmly and unhurriedly parted as if Moses himself was driving and reformed again behind the unfussed and departing officers. Eventually some maverick among our fellow passengers suggested taking the road around the unfathomable hindrance. And so it was we were deposited next to an wizened old Bolivian and his pedal rickshaw a kilometre or so from the border. How bad I felt as he struggled up the hill having had his fare negotiated down to a pittance by us penny-pinching backpackers. My guilt grew as his rickshaw slowed, as his wheezing grew ever faster. About halfway through the journey we got him to stop, thanked him for his labours, tipped and hopped off.

We sat looking out at Lake Titicaca from the Bolivian perspective and found it the weather to be better this side of the border. Our newest country maintains what is called, I kid you not, a brown-water navy. What this means, resisting the temptation for faeces-related humour and casual racism, is that the ships go on rivers and lakes. That these are the only places they go is down to the fact that the War of the Pacific in 1879 did not go very well for Bolivia. In fact it went so badly that Bolivia lost it's only piece of coastline to Chile. Despite dreams of regaining access they are mostly limited to pootling about on Lake Titicaca and if there were to be an invasion it seemed it wouldn't be today. Dinner was some quite decent burgers and since the sun was still out and with nothing pressing to do we ordered another couple of beers with a well-practised

dos mas por favor

I doubt there was another phrase we'd used more since the start of the trip and it had never yet failed to make two more beers appear. Except this time. For after what was an unusually long period the waitress came back out holding two more burgers. We were too British to send them back and give that there had already been a communication breakdown I didn't have high hopes that we could explain the situation. As I gamely tried to find the space for second dinner my travelling companion held court on the simplicity of sailing boats and insisted we should rent one the very next day. Perhaps the Bolivian brown-water navy had one they weren't using? The former Sea Cadet (Birmingham branch) assured me we'd be able to navigate this rather large lake due to the fact that boats have 'udders' which one uses to steer (or dictates the direction you want the boat to mooove, arf). It was hard to be totally convinced having witnessed his enthusiasm (or lack of) for water several times on the trip. Personal experience has taught me that just you are on a boat it does not mean things will stay that way. He was probably glad a couple of days later that I talked him out of the idea as we rocked uncertainly across a slender stretch of the lake on our way to the world's highest capital (he's the one in the funny hat by the way).

Comments

The Duke

Pub review They say: "We came for a skittle on a Saturday night and they were very welcoming but you know how you hear about lizards ruling the world, the barstaff had a very lizardy look. Make your own mind up!" --Craig Savage 4/5 I say: 'The place where everybody knows your name' The claim is painted onto the wall and doesn't seem so outlandish on this chilly Tuesday night as there is no-one in the pub to know my name or not. Dry January? I can't imagine that's a thing around these parts. You don't keep over 30 pubs in business with virtuous gestures like that. It might be a Tuesday thing. Per usual I try to find a quiet corner with my beer, surely an easy task in an empty pub? Not so. Speakers hang from every nook and carpet the space in a thick fog of sound. It isn't even the usual autotuned pop/R&B dirge being vomited into my ears. That stuff I can confine to a background hum. Instead it's the pre-match commentary for the Brighto...

Sisyphean Airlines

Day 56 - Panama City We nearly didn't make it into this slip of a country. Cruel fortune had us standing in the queue for the only Panamanian border officer who had read and decided to adhere to the rules. "Return ticket?" bugger. His steely, uncompassionate gaze was unmoved by our desperate explanations of our travel 'plans'. Bribery also failed to move him to endorse our entry so our bus driver, with infinite generosity, offered to relieve us of another $36 to write up a return ticket to San José that we would never use. This finally satisfied the entry requirements and the stamp thumped down. The country is divided by a synonymous strip of water down which floats a not insignificant quantity of the world's goods. Though our initial plan was to dive the canal, renovations kiboshed that idea and we had to settle for the traditional topside view. On initial viewing the city itself seems built on the wealth its transoceanic connection brings. Buildings soa...

Angkor Whaaaaat?

Day 5 - Siem Reap With the water festival finished we has one more place to visit in Cambodia. Angkor Wat is an indisputable wonder of the world and the largest religious monument ever constructed. It sits within a temple complex covering 400km², the scale of which is impossible to adequately describe. Its towers seem to rise organically from the ground, the stone flowering from the earth into wonderfully symmetric form. Only modern capitalism and totalitarian hubris seem to inspire similar architectural endeavour as the gods did in the past. I don't necessarily agree with any of those ideologies and their human cost but religion's diminished power permits me a less coloured appreciation of its monuments. In the stone of Angkor Wat you see reflected the same desire for, and defiant belief in, permanence that runs through our species. I see it in the chiselled signage above the entrance to long dead banks and businesses in the City of London. The owners thought the gilded lobbi...

You don't have to mentally unstable to live here, but it helps...

Day 380 - Margaret River It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair. It was a Tuesday, it was like any other. Me and the Cornish lads had slogged through another day on the vineyard and were driving home. I switched on my phone to check messages, my housemate Emily had text. All our stuff's on the street. Martina showdown. It had been building to this but with 3 days left before we left Margaret River she'd actually done it. Perhaps I should recap? The housing situation at Tunbridge Street had been deteriorating since, well, since I moved in really. I'd have to say that this was in spite of rather than because of my presence. I hadn't met the landlady before I took the room so my first contact with Martina was after wo...

The Hallmarks™ of civilisation

Day 9 - Bratislava Breakfast was taken in Hotel Sacher in Vienna, home of the famous Sacher Torte. I wouldn't ordinarily begin the day with cake but holidays do strange things to a person. Suitably tortified we jumped on a train for the second of our two day-trips, this time to Slovakia. I had preconceptions about the places that we'd been to so far, some based on personal experience others less so but Slovakia ranked as a genuine unknown. Having great affection for Prague and by extension the Czech Republic I suppose I wondered if the Velvet Revolution of 1989 had cleaved off the less desirable part into the eastern state. Luckily we three had established a means of determining the level of advancement of a place, thus - Question 1 - Does it have an Ikea? yes, we saw one from the train. Question 2 - Can you tour the place on a segway? yes, one was sitting outside a tourist office. Question 3 - From where you are standing can you see an H&M? ...oh Bratislava you were so...

Ben Welsher | Writings

Search This Blog